An amateur history buff was treated to a surprise after he ordered an old second-hand book online – and found a massively cringeworthy best man speech tucked away inside.
Reece Wane, 27, bought a book about the Teutonic Knights for £6.50 on Amazon Marketplace, but when he opened up the pages he was surprised to find two sheets of A4 falling into his lap.
After the initial confusion, a closer inspection revealed the mystery sheets to be a best man’s speech packed full of embarrassing dad jokes and terrible puns.
The authorless speech was penned for the wedding of a ‘Tom Fletcher’ and his wife-to-be ‘Becky’, but he’s unsure if the wedding has even happened yet – or when it might have taken place.
Hotel manager Reece, who has a partner, Molly Megson, 28, wants to return the letter to its author – as a favour from ‘one bloke to another’.
Reece, from Leeds, said: “I thought it was absolutely hilarious.
“It’s so generic and he’s used so many classic British humour jokes.
“There is some real personal stuff in there and you can see he’s properly trying to wind his best mate up.
“When I found it me and Molly had such a laugh about it.
“I was really surprised because I was just sat there with a brew and it popped out.
“I wonder if he popped it in there for safekeeping and just forgot where he put it.
“If the wedding hasn’t happened yet then I do want to get it back to him before the big day. There’s a lot of work gone into it.”
The speech says that the wedding takes place on 5 June – but it doesn’t say in what year.
It off with a joke: “If anyone here feels nervous, apprehensive or queasy… it’s probably because you’ve just got married to Tom Fletcher.”
The author joked about the groom’s work ethic, saying Becky ‘couldn’t have done any worse’ and comparing his pal’s dancing to that of David Brent from classic sitcom The Office – complete with a cue to play a video of that infamous scene.
The mystery best man also joked that that reading a best man’s speech is often referred to as the ‘worst five minutes of your life’, before delivering the punchline: “Becky – your worst five minutes will probably come later tonight.”
But in the end he signed off with a heartfelt toast to his best buddy.
Reece, who bought the book online earlier this month, added: “We have tried to track down the author but haven’t had any luck.
“From one bloke to another, I’d like to get it back to him.
“It takes a lot of hard work to write a best man’s speech. He probably spent days writing it and now he has lost it.
“If I’d lost one, I’d be gutted. The wedding might not have even happened yet.
“It hasn’t been there for long because the paper is really fresh.
“I’ve got his back if he wants to have it returned, for sure.”